Winter 2010

The Fletcher School community is coping with the news that the Africana Club was overpowered in a bloodless coup on Saturday night. Sources say that the daring move was timed to coincide with Fletcher’s annual Africana night celebration.

The coup-mongers are believed to be disenchanted members of the small splinter group known as the Native Afrikaaner Movement for Boers Learning in ASEAN (NAMBLA), whose demands for inclusion in Africana Night were rejected out of hand.

MEDFORD, MASSACHUSETTS, USA, EARTH, SOLAR SYSTEM

In a recent poll by Alpha Centauri's "The Daily Suns," Tufts University was named the Milky Way Galaxy's most dangerous institution of higher learning. The study comes on the heels of the Earth-based Daily Beast's poll showing Tufts as the most dangerous in America. Tufts officials strongly refute both designations.

Yea, I’m Kevin Meehan. I’m the main floor receptionist at Fletcher. What’s it to you?! When I started at Fletcher a couple of years ago, I thought I’d be working with the best and brightest. HAH! What a load of crap! I’ll tell you what Fletcher students are good at: showing up hung over to PDP, and stuffing donuts in their greedy mouths, and then bitching when they run out.

In a recent statement from University officials, Dr. Anthony P. Monaco was announced as the next Tufts University president amid much fanfare and celebration. In an interview with the Ledger yesterday, Dr. Monaco conceded that while he was glad to be chosen for the job, he had to admit that Tufts was his "safety school."

"I mean, don't get me wrong, Tufts is an amazing school," Dr. Monaco began in a mildly defensive voice.