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A Modest (mouse) Proposal
Residents of Fair Blakeley,
Hallowed are these Halls into which we have arrived with great Purpose and Resolve. And, yet, we are Fools to suppose that we are the only Creatures in this Fair Residence. We must encounter the Truth that we share our Abode with a much Vilified of beasts: the Rodent, the Mouse, the Child-killer.
What then shall we, the Great minds of this Generation, do to remedy such a situation? Certainly we have failed if we wait for some unknown Authority to enter, deus ex machina, exterminating our Enemy. Have we naught to learn from the outsourcing of US military capacities to Blackwater or the History of Pest Genocide?
The answer is simple: We must face this Foe with our own Might and Will! I will lead a party of several strong to hunt the Creature night and day. And, fear not, the Bodies and Severed Limbs of the Rodent shall not be discarded and wasted as certainly this unknown and unreliable Exterminator would do. Blakeley shall have heat again, in the form of Hides, well skinned and tanned, the finest of animal furs, Plush and Opulent.
And from the Sinews of the Despised Creature shall come the Means for a Creation of cables to solve the endless wireless internet Problems of this vast Land. The connective tissue of the Beast, once Destroyed, will connect us again to the precious Knowledge of our Time.
Yes, Great Blakeley we shall resolve the many sad calamities of our Abode with a single wide swing of a Blade of Justice, destroying the Rodent and using His fur for our own supreme comfort, His sinews as cables for our internet. Are you not with me?
Good Blakeley, fear not this Foe, for we shall overcome, fear not the phantom in the dark for we shall be our own light, nor fear the blood shed of days to come; for this is the Truth of our Days and it will be won or lost in an indefatigable flurry of decisive action and fur. Join me now, Good Blakeley, and we shall make this World, these Halls into the Land of Purity and Warmth of our Ancestors!
To Arms!
Fiercely yours until my last breathe in Battle against our Common Foe,
Ivan Mousekillaqieu, Esquire
Sir Ivan thirsts for blood, glory, and wireless internet.
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