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For those of you who do not know me, I am a ruggedly handsome and
immaculately dressed fellow, youngish, with perfect eyesight, a sizzling
smile, and a shaggy, bouncy, frisbee-catching dog named Biff. I have
striking golden blonde hair that catches the perfect nuance of sunlight,
and my polished ivory teeth sparkle. I have a wink that could knock a
woman sideways. I can do that sexy eyebrow thing. I made a fortune acting
as the proud, towel-snapping father in Zest Deodorant Soap commercials.
I invented pheromones.
And now I am here at Fletcher. You may wonder what I can do here; let
me tell you a few of my successes. Before I got a hold of Madonna, she was
a diary farmer. Barry White had a voice like Mickey Mouse until I remade
his image. Who put the bop in bop shu bop? Me, that’s who. I wrote the
Book of Love, and taught Elvis that little hip-shaking thing. Michael
Jackson was a ... well, let’s just say that I didn’t do so well on
that case.
But here at Fletcher, I think I really have a chance. There are some
beautiful people here; some bright, sharp, sexy, and oh-so-desirable men
and women. So what is the problem? Why are there so many single people
running around when there is soooo much room for luuuuuv?
This is where I can help. The problem is in style. Dating in an APSIA
school means a lot more than just strolling through the Hall of Flags with
your zipper down and your Global Perspective hanging out. There needs to
be that certain savoir-faire, raw, sensual, gleam in your eye attitude.
I know, to Fletcherites, sexy means Madeline Albright in a red dress,
but you know, it doesn’t have to be. Work with me, friends, and we can
infuse some passion into the school that will send ripples through the
Hall of Flags flags.
Keep your personals coming here to The Love King, and The Love King
will post them for all your future loved ones to see. Have questions? I’m
listening. Need some advice? A make-over? A new image? A Viagra
prescription?
The Love King awaits...
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Dear Kitty
Guckenberger,
I would love to gucken your
berger, you lovely thing!
Friend of Love King
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Dear Hannah Fretz,
Your Secret Admirer sends you greetings on Valentine's Day. Our
identity will be revealed...but not just yet.
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Christelle et Nathalie:
Je vous aime et je vous aimerai toujours bien que vous ne m'aimez pas!
-Le Cycliste
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Jen Lahue
You are hot.
That's spelled
H
O
T,
in case you weren't aware.
-Grammarian
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To "Heart Pulverizer" – Andreas Wendlberger
My heart of glass is fragile and shattered
My love for you is an unfathomable abyss
But what I feel I cannot express
I simply live in quiet distress.
I guarded my love for you like a mute
holding on to a secret.
Hoping one day you will uncover that love
inside your heart.
Hoping that one day you will hear of that love
within the murmur of your pulse.
Hoping one day you will find that longing
for me . . .
-Anonymous
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Mysterious
Message
Lobster Jerky is better than Tofu Jerky, but good old fashioned Sex Jerky
is the best. Be mine and mine again!
-Sometimes Jerky
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Dearest Jen, Eun-Ha, and Vanessa
Thanks for all the fun and friendship.
Stop by anytime...especially with food!
:-) :-) :-)
-Your friendly neighborhood Terrorist, Imperialist and Hegemon
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To Uncle Hurst
Whose beard I adore
as well as his talent
for incisive argumentation
-Minx
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Bruce Hamilton,
You can move your well-decorated cubicle to my place anytime!
-VavaVoom
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More Mystery:
Milajam Virinam bucas sirsninu diena no Sievas.
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To all my "'Friends' with friends" friends --
"Hey, How you doin'?"
-Paul
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Mystery Multiplied
It is you and me diplo-mate, against them all undercover secret agents
with their own hidden agenda's. From the moment I saw you in that tight... just wanted to
say: I love you beyond spanish words: tekjeeroh mugher! Siempre
-Don Guwaan
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JCY:
Nxt tm, wth th nxt wmn,
psh hrdr. Dnt qt whn yr s cls t lv.
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Bellevue
Beauties Beware!
A message of LOVE to 4/5 of the 19 Bellevue Beauties, who shake the
house and my world and tolerate me shaking the house...
-The Apple
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Nobuo and Hiro,
You are the two most important men in my life. Thanks for everything!!
-143
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DM-
Mucha suerte con Marketing Research.
-SM
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Dear Marie Bowers
Thanks for all the funk. :-)
- The Quintessential Tuna
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Dear
Monica,
Thanks for the tie.
-Yours, Bill
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Dear
Barry Levinson:
Thanks for the fabulous advice. It worked almost too well!
-Cordially, Bill
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Dear
Drs. Schultz and Pfaltzgraff:
Thanks for your munificent patronage.
-Sincerely, Gnomon
Copy
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Post your replies to these messages on our:
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Comments? Write us at letter@fletcherledger.com
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