Africana Club Toppled in Bloodless Coup

The Fletcher School community is coping with the news that the Africana Club was overpowered in a bloodless coup on Saturday night. Sources say that the daring move was timed to coincide with Fletcher’s annual Africana night celebration.

The coup-mongers are believed to be disenchanted members of the small splinter group known as the Native Afrikaaner Movement for Boers Learning in ASEAN (NAMBLA), whose demands for inclusion in Africana Night were rejected out of hand.

The NAMBLA regime has given no indication of how long it intends to hold onto power, but has said that it will retain control of the Africana Club until Americans know something about Afrikaaners besides the movie “Blood Diamond.”

“Yoh, it’s a big problem, eh?” Colonel Van de Meer said in a press conference shortly after the coup. “Oll they know about this lekker Afrikaaner culture is what they see next to Jennifer Connolly. It’s a pity, right my bru?” Col. Van de Meer abruptly stormed out of the interview after several reporters remarked how similar he sounded to Leonardo DiCaprio’s character.

The Fletcher administration has responded to the coup by expressing hope that future funding for the Africana Club can go straight to benefit the people and bypass ineffectual or corrupt leadership. Mugar Cafe’s Gloria Transparency Index (GTI) has consistently ranked the Africana Club as one of the most corrupt and opaque interest groups in the school.

In response to the takeover, the ASEAN Club – led its Chinese members – agreed to buy most of the Africana Club in exchange for a steady supply of precious rare earth metals found earlier this year in the Africana Club’s locker.

The European Affairs Society issued a statement saying, “Don’t look at us. Everything was just fine when we were running Africa(na Night).”